On this Living an Inspired Life blog, I have?often shared concepts and techniques for?changing your life from the inside out. But?what if nothing needs to change in order for?you to be happy? In fact, perhaps you never ?needed anything more or anything different ??it was merely a perception that something?was missing.
Think back to when you were born. Weren?t?your needs incredibly simple? Sleep, food, nurturing and the occasional?nappy change!
You weren?t thinking about the type of job you were going to do, the big?house or fancy car or how you could getnpeople to like you. You just were?being you, being a baby.
I know that?s a simplistic view of life. It naturally gets a bit more complex?as we get older and need to create our own shelter and support ourselves?and perhaps a family. But all of those ?mores? ? do we really need all of?them for happiness and peace?
What if we could return to our more basic self ? our true nature ? and?relish the simple way of being once more? I think it is more possible than?perhaps we imagine.
Lets start by examining how these complexities are formed.
We are born whole, healthy and complete. Perfect in every way, just as?Mother Nature intended. There were no thoughts of inferiority. We didn?t?look over at the next cot in the hospital and compare ourselves to the?baby lying there? ?They have more hair, their rattle is better than mine,?they slept for five hours whilst I managed on three!?? Such thoughts are?ridiculous!?Not so ridiculous, it would seem, by the time we reach school. Now we are?subject to various scales of measurement ? how easily we learn to read,?how well we hold a pencil, our capacity for retaining information or our?ability to throw and catch a ball. It?s a never-ending process of judgment.
A few manage to hang onto their own worth but most of us, in at least one?area, buy into the belief that we are not ?quite? up to the mark. Responding?to the opinions of those we look up to, we are conditioned to believe our?inadequacies. And so a new identity is born: False Identity #1.
Of course it isn?t a constant presence in our life. We may function?exceptionally well in many different situations. We may be happy a?large proportion of the time. Yet in those moments when our weak spot?is revealed, we may suddenly find ourselves right in the middle of our?unworthiness and believing the thought ?I am not good enough? once more.
For many people, the discomfort of bumping into some inadequacies from?time-to-time is never a big enough issue for them to want to tackle. But if?these feelings are intense or frequent enough, the desire to change may win?through and so begins the next stage of our journey ? the quest for self-?improvement!
Self-improvement can take many forms ? goal-setting, therapy, self-help?books, healing, workshops or seminars to name just a few. Clearly, there is?nothing inherently wrong with any of these. Without a doubt the quality of?many lives have been enhanced considerably with these approaches. The?real question is how much do they take us back to the perfection of our true?self? If self-improvement becomes a mask for the underlying inadequacy,?we will find ourselves in False Identity #2. We may be highly motivated but?finding that happiness and peace still eludes us.
A familiar analogy may help here. Imagine a diamond is immersed in dirt?and grime. Rather than cleaning away the dirt, self-improvement can be?the equivalent of trying to cover the muck with nail polish. We are trying to?make it look pretty without realising the spectacular beauty at its core.
So maybe it?s not about trying to make ourselves better by self-?improvement. Maybe it?s about dropping the layers of polish and grime and?seeing what natural magnificence truly lives inside of us.
Let?s substitute the idea of self-improvement with that of self-acceptance.?What if we were willing to simply embrace ourselves as we are, warts and?all? Maybe you have some weaknesses. So what? Does that make you any less?valuable or worthy? Of course not! We are all different. We all have unique?gifts. We all have unique flaws. It?s what makes you so perfectly you.
With sufficient self-acceptance we may well find ourselves right at the cusp?of False Identity #1 once more. But now we are approaching our concept of?our self with a new attitude. Not with a sense of not being good enough but?now with an understanding of our authenticity. You know where you rock?and you know where you don?t but you are no longer attached to it being?any different to how it is.
But we want more than detachment ??detachment is calm but not necessarily?content. What will move us right back into the?core of our perfect true selves? The answer?lies in self-love. We don?t just want to accept?who we are, we want the head-over-heels-giddy-with-happiness type of self-love. It?s the?art of recognising your special nature without?the need for superiority ? welcoming your?weaknesses whilst seeing your magnificence?and radiating your truth. There?s nothing?complicated and nothing left to strive for.
You discover the true essence of unconditional love. It always began with?you. You have found your way home.
By Tiffany Kay
Tiffany Kay?is a transformational coach, inspirational speaker and the creator of Living an Inspired Life. After flat-lining through the early part of her life, Tiffany faced a challenging and transformational time of awakening. Following her son?s open-heart surgery, she realised that life matters and made a deliberate and conscious decision to make her life a life that counted. Since then she has been inspiring others to discover the truth of who they are!
Tiffany runs a coaching programme called ?Your Life Two? that helps women to turn crises and transitions into awakenings ? to design and sculpt an inspired life and to find the happiness they truly deserve.
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Tiffany is also the author of? ?JoyScope? ? a book and blog offering daily inspirations to nourish the heart and soul.
Website?www.tiffanykay.com?and?www.yourlifetwo.com
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